


Recovery

by BitEmbarrassed



Category: Broadchurch
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:33:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23506915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitEmbarrassed/pseuds/BitEmbarrassed
Summary: A re-imagining of Alec's pacemaker operation and his recovery afterwards... coming so close to death has him desperately seeking companionship, and he's got more options than he thinks.Starts with the actual scene in the restaurant between Alec and Tess, when he tells her about his surgery, and diverges from there....
Relationships: Alec Hardy & Ellie Miller, Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller, Alec Hardy/Tess Henchard
Comments: 18
Kudos: 90





	1. Pre-Op

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever attempt at fanfic, so appreciate you bearing with me. I've got a general story arc in mind, but just uploading the first chapter for now, which is a lot of setup and pretty light insofar as action goes.

Alec stares at Tess a moment too long. He looks at her as if waiting for permission. To do what, she’s not sure. 

“I’m going into hospital tomorrow,” he says, pausing just long enough to make her worry. 

“Pacemaker,” he adds.

“You alright with that?”

“If anything happens I’ve made a will.”

“Goodness, you are scared,” she says, almost cavalierly, before considering how their daughter will feel. “You tell Daisy?”

He shakes his head no. She wants to reprimand him, tell him Daisy has a right to know... a right to say goodbye, if it comes to that. But she’d rather he think she’s not all that worried, so she says nothing. 

He breaks the silence. “I miss you, Tess. We could go back… still be a family.”

She swallows hard. Shakes her head no. She feels moisture welling up in her eyes and stands to leave.

“Let it be, Alec. Not everything from the past deserves to be revisited.”

She gives his hand a quick squeeze on the way out. “Take care of yourself, Lo-.”

She catches herself a moment too late; he smiles at her. “You too, darling.”

She shakes her head. “Call me when you’re through so I can let Daisy know. I won’t tell her until after, I promise.”

“Thanks,” he says, meaning it. 

He watches her leave and hangs his head.

——

The next morning he arrives at the hospital alone. He’s still wearing the same suit he had on in court. 

He walks up to the reception desk. The nurse asks for his name without looking up from her computer.

“Alec Hardy.”

There’s a hint of recognition in her eyes. She looks at him, then the clock, which reads 10am. 

“DI Hardy….wouldn’t have expected you here so early.”

“Just Hardy,” he corrects her. “The paperwork said I should arrive two hours early. Shouldn’t I have done?”

She puts on a straight face. “Quite right, well done, you. Just figured… you discharged yourself twice against doctors orders, why start following rules now?”

“Right.” 

Noticing his lack of amusement, she gives up on the banter. “Just fill in these forms and take a seat in the waiting room.” She picks up a trashy magazine that looks like it’s been rifled through by one too many stressed out patients. “You might want this, you’ll be waiting a while.”

He accepts it without even looking at the magazine... his eyes are directed at her, but she can tell he’s not really looking at her. 

“Will anyone else be joining you?” She asks, a bit more care — maybe even curiosity — in her voice now. 

He thinks of Tess. How she went home yesterday, relatively unconcerned. He looks at the nurse properly now, gives her a piercing stare.

“No.” 

“Well, you’ll need someone to pick you up afterwards — they won’t release you otherwise,… and now that you’re playing by the rules and all… ”

“Right, yeah. I’ll call someone.”

She can’t help herself.

“You can have my number if you like.”

He cocks his head at her. 

“Sorry, sorry, inappropriate.”

He blinks as if he can’t believe what he’s just heard. He drops the magazine back on the counter and takes a seat.

He fills out the paperwork quickly. Name, date of birth, allergies, any food in the last twelve hours… 

Christ is he really that old? And why can’t they just keep all the information in the system? Why on earth is it necessary to fill it out by hand each and every time? 

He drops the form back on the counter, careful not to make eye contact with the nurse who’s clearly still salivating over him. 

He hates being looked at. Even when it’s validating. 

He sits down again and has nothing to do now but scratch at his cuticles, stare at his phone ... and contemplate what’s to come. 

He looks around the waiting room and notices that he’s the only person there alone. There are moms and their children, old couples, odd couples, friends... and then there’s him. 

He signed a DNR the moment he decided to get the surgery. Now he’s not sure it was the right call. 

He pulls his phone out, starts to draft a text, and as if his fingers have gotten up to speed faster than his head, he startles himself when he looks down at his phone and sees he’s started a text with:

“Need a favor, Miller.” 

He erases it. Starts drafting a text to Tess instead. Then he erases that too.

What’s he thinking? He already told her about the surgery. If she’d cared, she’d be sitting next to him right now. She’d have said something else when he asked her about trying again. 

He hangs his head; his chest tightens, and he knows it has nothing to do with his heart condition. 

Tess is the only person he’s told... and she doesn’t care. 

Daisy, of course, would’ve cared if she’d told him. She’d be there with him now, if he’d let her be. He realizes that’s why he never said anything to her at all. If sitting in the waiting room alone was painful, sitting in the waiting room with Daisy, knowing she’d be asking herself the same question he is right now, would be a thousand times worse. 

“Will you be okay?” 

How could he look her in the eye, knowing that the only honest answer is “I don’t know,”?

All he knows is that his condition has gotten so bad that if he doesn’t have the surgery, he will die ... so this is his best shot. The calculating, cold part of him takes comfort in that.

He looks at his phone again. Still nothing from Tess. He pulls up the draft to Ellie again, knowing her phone will be off in the court room. 

It occurs to him then that had he told her, she’d be here as well. She’d have driven him in — she always drives him, after all. 

He imagines she’d even have taken some secret pleasure in being there, knowing it was at least partly thanks to her that the incorrigible Alec Hardy finally got his heart fixed. 

Yes, he thought, Ellie would be here. A part of him wishes she were. 

But it’s Tess who he’s really longing to see ... and who he’s starting to resent. To think she thought *he* was the callous one in their relationship! 

He looks up from his phone for a moment and sees nurse in blue scrubs standing in front of him. He’s short but extremely well built, his scrub top clinging to his biceps.

“Alec Hardy?”

“Aye.” 

“We’re ready for you, you can come along with me.” 

He stands up, towering over the nurse in front of him. He follows him back. 

They walk into a room that’s divided into three curtained off sections. The nurse draws the curtains back and ushers him inside. 

He looks at Alec head to toe, assessing his attire. Shakes his head and tuts. 

“Interesting interpretation of comfortable clothing.”

“Ah well, I was raised Catholic. I’ve had an odd relationship with the notion of comfort ever since.”  
The nurse doesn’t laugh.

“Right, well, you might wanna tell whoever’s staying with you to bring you something a bit more comfortable. Is someone on their way?”

“Ah, no, but… they will be.”

“Alright, well, we’ll hang on to your things for the time-being and return them to you before you leave tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Alec asks, incredulously.

“Sir, this procedure has a mandatory 24-hour monitoring period. Surely the doctors told you that.”

He licks his lips, irritated. 

The nurse pays no attention. “I need you to strip down to your pants and then take a seat on the bed so we can start your prep.”

“No gown?”

“Not yet. You can put your valuables in here,” he says, handing Alec a bag. 

The nurse leaves the “room,” closing the curtain behind him.

Alec reaches into his pocket, takes out his wallet and cell phone. Knowing he’s running out of time, he hammers out a quick text to Ellie.

“Miller, I’m in hospital. Pacemaker. Due to be released tomorrow. Can you give me a lift? Last time I’ll ask, promise.”

Then he sighs, and loosens his tie. He slips it off, unbuttons his shirt.

He runs his hand over his chest, lingers with his hand on his heart… trying to feel its slightly irregular beat one last time. He drops his trousers and takes a seat on the bed.

He’s got goose pimples. And to his displeasure, he’s acutely aware of how self-conscious he is at the prospect of this young, fit nurse seeing him half naked. It makes him feel incredibly vulnerable.

——

The nurse comes back in. This time Alec focuses and looks at his name tag. William Claire.

He hadn’t been thinking about Lee and Claire at all since arriving at the hospital… but now he can’t help but panic — what will happen if he dies? Sandbrook would remain unsolved… Tess wouldn’t push to finish it, he’s sure of that. 

He thinks of Miller… how invested she’s become in the case. Maybe she’d see it through, if only to continue to be distracted from her real problems…

“Alec?”  
“Right, sorry.”

“I’m going to start your prep now. First off, we’ll start your IV. Help you get relaxed sooner rather than later.” 

“Needles don’t generally relax me,” 

“No, but the drugs I’m going to give you should.”

William lifts his left arm. “You’ve got nice veins.”

Alec smiles in spite of himself.

“Just a little pinch….” Alec looks the opposite direction. “There, all done.”

William fiddles with a medicine bag and hangs it. “We’ve got to give you some antibiotics first, just to prevent possible infection, and then we’ll get started with the fun stuff.”

William looks at Alec’s chest and bites his lip. He walks around to the other side of the bed, so he’s on Alec’s right. 

“Lie back for me. You’’re not gonna like this, I’m afraid.”

“Wha-?”

William fiddles in an open drawer and a humming sound starts. He’s holding a razor.

“Oh, no. C’mon, is tha really necessary?” He asks, sounding especially Glaswegian. 

“We need to make sure everything’s sterile.”

Alec rolls his eyes, equal parts frustrated and embarrassed.

William leans close to his chest and quickly buzzes the hair off the left side. 

“Can shave the whole thing for you, if you prefer a symmetrical look.”

Alec looks down at the odd patch of chest hair left on his right side. 

“Yeah, sure, alright.” He surprises himself with his answer.

William finishes the job, nearly sitting on the bed as he reaches across to do the other side of Alec’s chest.

Then he applies a cleanser, wiping down Alec’s now hairless left side. It feels… relaxing, in a bizarre way. Alec closes his eyes.

“Almost done here…”

William stands. Opens a closet and returns with a couple drapes. Then walks over to Alec’s IV bag.

“I’m going to start the pain meds now. These will help you relax. Later the doctors will give you a local anesthetic, but this should make you feel quite drowsy… you’ll be awake throughout the procedure, but you won’t feel any pain.”

He starts placing the drapes across Alec’s lower half.

“You’ll be covered with these the whole time…. Now don’t be alarmed, but I need to strap you down so your hands don’t come in contact with the sterile area.”

Alec’s eyes bulge in panic… but then, as if the medicine kicked in all at once, flutter closed… 

“Alright…” he mutters.

William straps him down. 

“Well, that’s it for me. The doctors will be in shortly to explain some final details about the procedure, and they’ll hook you up to quite a lot of equipment to monitor you throughout the procedure once they’ve got you in the operating room.”Alec starts to speak, but William interrupts him.

“Just relax. We do hundreds of these a day. And don’t worry, your beautiful chest hair will grow back soon enough and cover up any sign of a scar.”

William places a comforting touch on Alec’s shoulder before leaving.

“See you on the other side.”

Alec blinks, wondering if he’s still properly awake, or if the twinge he’s feeling in his groin is indeed very, very real…


	2. Post-Op

Alec lies on a hospital bed, his face looking paler than usual beneath his scraggly beard. 

He flutters his eyes open and scans the room, trying to understand where he is. 

Then it all comes back to him — the procedure, the nurse.... had he? Could he have? No.... 

He pushes the confusion away. And then he smiles:

“I’m alive.”

Almost as if Alec had called to him, William walks in, his dark biceps glistening in startling contrast with the light blue of his scrubs. 

“You certainly are,” he says with a soft smile. 

Alec startles, not having seen him enter. His heart rate monitor spikes.

William walks up to the bed, inspecting the various monitors. 

“Easy does it, we can’t have you getting too excited now can we?” he says casting a glance towards Alec’s midsection. He half expects to see a bulge beneath the sheets. 

Alec blushes — maybe something *did* happen after all. He should feel angry, but instead, all he feels is a burning sense of curiosity... 

“Well what’s this bloody pacemaker for if can’t—“

Before he can finish his witty retort, Ellie throws the door open and bursts into the room. 

“A text!?!”

William conceals a smile and gestures towards the exit, “I’ll leave you two alone.” He slinks out. 

Miller comes up to the edge of the bed, looking over Hardy as if ready to strangle him. 

“Don’t start, Miller,” he says, simultaneously pleading and matter of fact.

“You sneak off and send me a text knowing my phone won’t be on in the courtroom!” 

“I’ll give you money to shut up.”

“I’ll give ya more money to be less of a knob.”

He smiles.

“I made it. I made it through.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You’d only come and sit with me.” He feels a pang if guilt as he says it, knowing it’s exactly what a part of him wanted. 

She glares at him. 

“What is wrong with you?”

“Not much, now that my heart works.” 

“Smart arse. You’ve got the emotional intelligence of a six year old.”

“Bollocks. I’ve had you pegged since the day I met you. And now look, you’re here a day before I asked you to be! Don’t need a ride home until tomorrow. That’s why I didn’t tell you before the surgery, you’d have been sat here since last week!”

“News flash, Hardy. When someone has heart surgery, you turn up. You see how they are. You don’t let them languish in hospital alone. It’s what people do.”

“Just like how they have their bosses round for dinner? Where’s my gift then?” 

“Oh sod off!” she says, slapping his wrist. She laughs a bit, her anger breaking at last. 

Beneath it all, she’s just glad that he’s okay. And more so, glad that he will be okay for the foreseeable future.

“I suppose I should’ve known that the man who turns up to dinner with wine, chocolates, and flowers would expect a gift after surviving a major surgery. Pity you didn’t give me more advanced notice, I’d have come with a life size teddy bear.” 

“Bring him when you come pick me up tomorrow, then. I’ll text you when they say they’re releasing me ... they need to keep me under observation for the evening.”

She looks at him incredulously. 

“I know you’ve got stuff to do, you’ve got wee Fred to look after. Head home, Miller. I’ll be fine.” 

She sits down, defiantly, placing her hands on the bed. “I’ve told you, normal people don’t let friends languish alone in hospital. And if I go, who will force feed you the mushy peas and jello they serve you for dinner?”

He laughs, taking her hand in his. 

But the door opens and he lets her hand go as quickly as he took it. Ellie turns round. 

It’s Tess. 

“What’re you doing here?” Hardy asks. 

“Suddenly had a thought you might die. Felt I had to drive down and see you...” she walks over to the bed, scooching past Ellie. 

Tess gives her a sideways glance. “I’ve got this.”

“Alright then,” Ellie says.

She stands to leave, nodding goodbye to Hardy. She can’t get out of the room fast enough. 

“El-“ he starts, but she’s already gone. 

Tess sits down where Ellie was just moments ago. 

“Spoke to the doctors, they said they’re keeping you over night for observation.”

“Ay.”

“Not like you, following doctors’ orders.”

“Well, I’m a new man now,” he says, placing a hand over his heart. He can’t believe she’s here. He smiles at her, looks intently in her eyes… maybe if he stares long enough he’ll able to decipher the real reason she decided to come.

She bites her lip, as if for the first time in a very, very long time she’s seeing the man she married, not the man she divorced. 

“What’re your thoughts on a jailbreak?” She asks.

He smiles mischievously and is half-way out of bed before she’s even finished her sentence.

———

A minute later, he’s peeled all of the monitors off of his chest. 

He’s got his trousers on and is pulling on his shirt. Tess helps him get his left arm in the sleeve. 

He’s fumbling with the buttons when Nurse William walks in. 

“What’s all this then?” William asks. 

Alec shrugs, puckering his lips together innocently and casting an accusatory glance at Tess.

William tuts disapprovingly. 

“Guess I won the first pool. But this certainly doesn’t improve my odds at winning the second...”

“Wha-?” Alec asks incredulously.

“Never mind, not important. Look, I shouldn’t be doing this...” he reaches into Alec’s pocket and takes out his phone. 

Tess is aghast. William quickly types his number into the phone before handing it back to Alec.

“Promise me you’ll text me tomorrow to let me know you’re alright — if you experience any of the symptoms we discussed, you come right back in. Otherwise, take it easy tonight and I’ll see you—“ he pokes him on his chest, the right side, of course, “— in a month for your follow up.” 

William puts a finger up to his lips, making the “shh” sign as he backs out of the room. 

“You didn’t see me.” He turns on his heel and leaves. 

Alec looks at Tess in disbelief. He scrambles to finish buttoning his shirt – he misses one but he doesn’t care. They smile and head toward the exit.


	3. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tess takes Alec home from the hospital and the two of them process their feelings for one another. Select scenes with Ellie and William, as well.

Alec and Tess walk along the water. Alec leads the way and Tess trails back. He opens the gate in front of him.

“Just take it slow,” she says, maternal. “Where are you going?”

“It’s just here,” he replies, matter of factly.

“This is is where you live?” she asks incredulously.

“Don’t start,” he chides.

He walks to the front door of the blue chalet, unlocks it. She follows him inside.

———

Ellie is driving home to pick up Tom when she sees the gift store on the corner and decides to stop.

“Oh bollocks, why not?” she says to herself.

She parallel parks with ease, enters the shop, and exits moments later with a ginormous teddy bear with a bright blue bow around its neck.

She chuckles to herself, imagining the look on Alec’s face when he sees it. She considers swapping the bow for a tie and adding some glasses so it will look like a mini Hardy.

She shoves the bear into the back seat and slips the card she’s bought into her purse.

Moments later, she’s at her sister’s waiting for Tom to get into the car.

He sees the bear before he sees her.

“Bloody hell, mum. I haven’t been gone that long...”

“Oh sod off, it’s not for you anyhow.”

“Well thank god for that. Was it just my replacement then? Did you demand it hug and kiss you every night before bed? Poor bear.”

“Oi, enough of that. And if you think you’re getting out of giving goodnight kisses anytime before you turn 50, you’re daft. You’ve racked up quite the debt.”

He sighs, smiling softly. “Alright, alright...”

She drives off, smiling as she considers that perhaps at last, at least some things, are right in the world once more.

——-

Alec sits outside his front door, closing his eyes as the breeze sweeps across his face. The water laps gently in front of him.

Tess walks out with a jacket, drapes it over his shoulders.

“You sure you’re warm enough out here?”

He grunts his assent, not yet opening his eyes.

“Here, two of these,” Tess says, offering pills and a glass of water.

He takes the pills first, dropping them in his mouth. Then he reaches out again with his right hand, takes a sip from the glass and washes the pills down. All without looking at her.

The giddiness he’d shown towards her at the hospital has worn off. Or perhaps it’s the pain meds that have worn off. Either way, he finds himself feeling suspicious. Doubting why she’s come — and wondering whether he’s made a mistake in letting her come back with him.

Finally he looks up at her.

“Why did you come?”

She looks him in the eye.

“Honestly, I thought if you died, and I never said ... “

He looks at her expectantly.

“Well, that I stuffed up. I never should’ve done what I did. And I shouldn’t have let you take the fall for it.”

She pauses again, and still, he stays silent. _Let her suffer_ , he thinks, _it will be nothing compared to what I’ve gone through thanks to her._

She inhales, “When you told me yesterday that you were going in for surgery... and I thought of all I’d put you through... How I could’ve lost you forever... I just, it didn’t feel right, leaving you alone right now. You... you were hurt because of me in the first place. I already feel bad enough about that. And I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you and I wasn’t here. “

She sits down next to him.

He grunts, as if assessing whether or not he believes her. She stares at him intently. He looks away.

He wants to believe her. He’s just not sure he should.

They sit in silence for a while. Alec shudders a bit in the breeze. Tess puts an arm around him.

Alec closes his eyes, remembering the last time she embraced him properly. The breeze brings a whiff of Tess’s perfume straight to his nose… the light scent of rosewater he loves so much.

 _Christ_ , he thinks, _it’ll be hard not to believe her if she keeps this up._

————

Ellie looks around her bedroom, repainted with Tom’s help.

She smiles. A fresh start, she thinks.

She takes the card she purchased earlier out of her purse. Uncaps a pen with her teeth.

She lays on her stomach and starts to think, mindlessly tapping the pen on the floor. _How to begin?_

DI Hardy feels too formal. Not to mention inaccurate given his current situation. She certainly wouldn’t start with Alec. Though if she did, she knows he’d roll his eyes extra hard while reading the note... and the prospect of irritating him does appeal to her.

But if she’s going to irritate him, why not be direct about it?

Yes, she thinks, that will do:

_Dear Knob,_

_You nearly worried me half to death. In case you didn’t know, I’ve already got more than enough on my mind without spending every day wondering whether the only friend who hasn’t abandoned me this past year would rather die than call me for help when he needs it ...._

_I know you’re far too proud to ask for most favours — except for lifts, somehow you were unabashed in your need to be driven everywhere — but know I’m always here if you need something. Even a ride. I expect now that you’ve got your license back you’ll be wanting to take the wheel yourself, but the citizens of Broadchurch have dealt with enough hardship and surely don’t need to be exposed to a maniac such as yourself behind the wheel?_

_Just kidding. Just know I’m here if you need me. Wishing you a very speedy recovery._

_XO,_

She stops, not sure how to finish the note.

She was about to write Miller, but the thought of continuing to use Joe’s last name is starting to drive her mad.

She chews the back of the pen.

“XO,

E.”

——

Outside the hospital, Nurse William Claire walks alongside the Nurse from reception, Andrea. They’re heading to their cars, exhausted from the day’s work.

Andrea rolls her eyes, irritated, as she rifles through her purse for an envelope. William is laughing heartily. He seems much more open and warm than he did at the hospital.

“C’mon, then,” he says, hurrying her.

“Hold your horses, don’t be a prat…” At last she finds the right envelope. “There you go, 500 quid.”

He smiles, pocketing it. “Thank you, my lady. Brilliant idea of yours, this pool.”

“Would’ve been a lot more brilliant had he stayed in hospital and left tomorrow morning like he was supposed to.”

“Oh Andrea, ye naive flower. You think too much of people. See too much good in them.”

She tuts. “You know if anything happens to him, it’ll be on you.”

“I didn’t ask the man to leave,” he retorts. “In fact, I was starting to think I’d quite like it if he stayed…. Which brings me to our second pool.”

“Our second pool? There is no second pool.”

“Well, not yet. How much would you give me if I could get Alec Hardy in bed?”

Her jaw drops.

“Oh, don’t look so shocked. Not like you wouldn’t do the same if you could… You’re seriously telling me you couldn’t see it? He’s definitely into it.”

“What is it about you, Will? Five seconds in a room with you and everyone’s dropping trou…”

“Well lots of them are patients, and I literally have to ask them to remove their trousers, so that’s not quite so impressive…”

“Alright,” Andrea says, “Enough. Sure, you’re on. But here’s the deal. It won’t be a pool — the ethics are murky, even for you. And I’d hate for you to get caught in a… sticky situation. If by the end of the month, you’ve slept with Alec Hardy, I’ll give you another 500 pounds. And if you haven’t, you owe me 500.”

He offers his hand, “Dea—“

“— And 1000 if I get with him before you do.”

“Ohhh, saucy,” he says, as they shake hands. Then he adds, “Though you’ve got some stiff competition, in a very literal sense…”

She whacks his shoulder. “Oh shut up. Walk me to my car. It’s getting cold.”

He offers her his elbow, jokingly, and they saunter off together.

——----

Inside, Tess brings Alec a cup of tea and sits beside him on the couch.

“Where’re ya stayin’ tonight?” he asks her.

She gestures to the couch they’re sitting on.

“Here, of course. You think I’d leave you alone tonight?”

“You left me alone the last 500 of them or so, so....”

“Oh Alec, enough. I’m trying to be nice here, I’m trying to apologize. But we both know perfectly well you’ve always done what you could to push me away.”

“As I recall, you walked away the night you cheated on me.”

“Not before spending the better part of two years waiting for you to get home each night, only to wake up alone and find you asleep at your desk in the office the next morning. A marriage takes two people, Alec. Two people who want to be there. You chose your work.”

He opens his mouth to retort, then closes it.

She inches towards him. He looks tired, his eye lids fluttering in a poor attempt to stay open.

He’s starting to soften. He sighs.

“Look,” he starts, “I know I messed some stuff up last time. But I meant what I said yesterday, about you and Daisy...”

“That’s just the drugs talking.”

“I wasn’t high at the diner yesterday.”

“No, but you were scared you might die.”

“No. Scarier thing now is thinking.... ack, never mind.”

“Well c’mon, spit it out.”

“I was gonna say... what scares me now is the thought of living the rest of my - sure to be very long and healthy - life… alone.” He laughs at his own cheesiness, “Now it is the drugs talking.”

She smiles.

He offers a loopy grin and falls on her shoulder, nodding off a bit.

“C’mon, we best get you to bed.”

He looks at her like she’s crazy. “I’m an adult, you know! Not some wee bairn who needs to be told it’s bedtime!”

He’s half-joking, half-serious. He leans further into her shoulder and closes his eyes once more, undermining his case.

“You sure look like a wee bairn to me,” Tess says, teasing him as she runs her fingers through his hair. _God she’d missed this._

“Go on,” she adds. “We’ll get you into bed and then I’ll get set up out here.”

“Don’t be daft, now. I can’t let you sleep here - this thing came with the house, has more dents in it than the Ford Fiesta you drove when I met you.”

“It’s alright, Alec, I don’t mind, really.”

She stands up, turns round and offers him a hand to help lift him up, then doubles over with laughter when she sees the butt shaped indent she’s left on the sofa.

He extends his right hand and she lifts him to his feet.

“You’re second guessing your offer now, eh? Seriously, I’ll be fine, if you want to stay at the Trader’s or if you just wanna be getting back to Daisy...”

She gives him a stern look.

“Alec Hardy, you are the most brilliant, obtuse man I’ve ever met. You know perfectly well I’m not leaving you alone tonight. That looks like a pretty big bed. We’re adults, I think we can manage one sexless night in the same bed, right?”

“Was that meant as a joke? I mean, now you’re just summing up the latter half of our marriage.”

“Walked right into that.”

“Aye, ya did.” He’s smiling at her.

They enter the bedroom and he sits on the bed, tired from the short journey from the couch. He bends down to untie his shoes and winces.

Tess crouches down and unties them for him.

“Couldn’t you just have gone to your procedure in sweatpants and slip ons like a normal person? It had to be a suit?”

“Figured if anything happened it’d save you the trouble of figuring out what to bury me in.”

“Well you’ve only got two suits as it is, not much choice in the matter.”

Having removed his shoes and socks, Tess stands up and looks Alec in the eye. He’s very slowly unbuttoning his shirt with just his right hand.

She tuts at him and leans forward, unbuttoning the rest of the shirt. He spreads his arms wide and lets her take it off him.

She sees his new scar for the first time. She nearly reaches out to touch it and then stops herself. She purses her lips. Her eyes moisten.

“Heyyy, what’s that now?” Alec asks, tenderly. “You know I wasn’t in any real danger… I’m stubborn as hell, never woulda died til I solved Sandbrook.”

“I know, I know. It’s just... something about seeing you like this... so vulnerable... I, you.... in 10 years of marriage you never really let me in. Never let me help you. And now, somehow, here I am, getting you dressed for bed, seeing you loopy on pain meds.... and it’s like I’m finally seeing the man I always knew you were.”


	4. Good Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Tess get reacquainted as Tess attempts to facilitate Alec's recovery "with a bit of light exercise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back after a very long hiatus! Covid-related distractions got the best of me, but I hope to upload a couple more chapters after this one to finish the story, time and interest permitting.

Alec wakes up half naked, somewhat startled to see Tess’s arm draped over his stomach. _Did they? Could they have...? Was it safe for him to...? No...._

Slowly, bits and pieces of the previous night come back to him:

The way Tess traced a gentle finger over his heart, careful not to touch the fresh stitches that hovered above it. How she wound her finger from his chest down to his navel without breaking eye contact.

 _Is this okay?_ She seemed to be asking, without ever making a sound.

“Yes,” he had said. “Please.”

She drew her index finger lower, tugging playfully at the loop of his trousers.

“Can’t sleep in these,” she’d said with a smile, as she tugged them off in one swift motion. He was acutely aware of the protrusion in his boxers, now on full display.

“I’d missed you,” she’d said.

“‘Me or him?” he asked, nodding downward.

“Don’t be daft,” she said, not bothering to clarify.

Just remembering last night, Alec feels “him” start to stir again.

They hadn’t had *sex* sex — technically, he wasn’t meant to for at least two weeks... but they’d made out and dry jumped like teenagers, and, then, as always, he’d done his part to satisfy Tess. He still knew just what she liked. He was nothing if not observant.

And now, as he stares at the ceiling, remembering it all, he is thoroughly convinced that blue balls pose more of an imminent threat to his health than anything else.

He’s about to move Tess’s arm off of him so he can make a cup of tea when she speaks—

“Don’t you dare get up,” she scolds, without so much as opening an eye. Then she drops her hand a bit lower and grabs his cock over top of his underwear. “Not talking to you of course, love it when you’re up.”

Tess had the bizarre yet endearing habit of conversing with Alec’s penis. He’s ashamed to admit that he had almost missed it — sometimes he swore she was more comfortable talking to “him” than her.

“Wasn’t goin’ anywhere! What would you know, yer asleep,” Alec retorts, sounding particularly Glaswegian in his state of early morning irritation.

“I know you, Alec Hardy. Never one to have a bit of a lie in. God forbid anyone else on the planet get started before you do. Lie down, take it easy. I’ll make us some tea.”

She blinks her eyes open, pushes up onto her elbows and gets ready to swing her bare legs off her side of the bed. She’s wearing nothing but her underwear — which are neither sexy, nor hideous, just beige, with full cheek, panty-line-less coverage. Utterly practical, much like her.

Just before planting her feet on the ground on her side of the bed, she has a change of heart — she swings around and straddles Alec. She gives him a quick peck on the lips before lowering her mouth to his boxers. She tugs the elastic back, exposing the tip of his penis—she kisses it, then sucks it briefly, before springing off of him and onto the ground.

“Mmmm,” she says, “be right back.”

“Seriously? You’re evil, ya know that?”

She saunters off with a devilish grin and snatches his white button down on the way out. She puts it on. Cliche, she knows, but she loves it. And it smells like him — musky with a hint of cinnamon. He must still use the same drugstore body wash, she notes. She’s unexpectedly pleased at the realisation.

She comes back in with two cups of tea and some porridge for Alec. “You’ll need your energy if we’re going to stay in bed til noon...” she says, a hint of mischief in her voice.

“What about what the doctor said?” He asks, one eyebrow raised.

“Isn’t that exactly what we’re doing? Taking it easy, with just a bit of light exercise....” she replies, setting their mugs on Alec’s nightstand.

He smiles and pulls her onto him.

“You’ll just have to do the bulk of the work, then,” he says, grinning.

“Now you’re just summing up the latter half of our marriage,” she retorts, turning his own insult back onto him. _Well played,_ he thinks. He should be annoyed, but somehow he’s simply pleased to be having a repartee with his ex-wife… he can’t remember the last time they’ve talked like this. Of course, they’d continued to have their fair share of witty exchanges since their divorce, but neither could ever quite be sure when wit would turn in into utter cruelty, foils swapped for freshly sharpened daggers.

“You’re asking for a proper bollocking now...” he joked back.

“I’d like nothing more,” she whispers, leaning in for a kiss and tugging at his bottom lip with her teeth.

SMACK. His right hand lands on her bare ass.

“Game on,” he says.

********

Ellie gets up early, feeling rather chipper. She wakes Tom, who, in a very unexpected but appreciated move, gets ready and leaves for school without a fuss.

Then she seals the card she’s written to Hardy and places the envelope in her purse — the jumbo teddy is still in the car. It’s only 7:45, and visiting hours don’t start until 8:30, so she decides to treat herself to a leisurely bath.

She is, she discovers, unexpectedly excited for her rendezvous with Hardy. She can’t wait to see the look on his face when she walks into his room accompanied by a life-sized bear he’ll have no choice but to take home with him. The image of him dragging it into his kitchen nearly has her in stitches.

She gets out of the bath and takes extra care with her hair, fussing with her ever-stubborn curls. She applies a bit of lipstick. It’s not until she sees herself puckering her lips in the mirror that she questions what compelled her to do it. She shrugs. _It looks nice_ , she thinks, _just as well_.

Downstairs, she puts the kettle on. She whistles as she butters a bit of toast, cursing herself when she gets a glimpse at the time — 8:15. She spent longer in the bath than she’d realized. Traffic would be horrendous this time of day and she’d hoped to arrive at the hospital as soon as visiting hours started.

 _Oh well_ , she thinks, _serves him right for only telling me yesterday he’d need a ride home... from bloody heart surgery._

Still, she knows he’ll be dying to get out of there. He said he’d text when they gave him the OK, but she doesn’t want him to have to wait.

She grabs her purse and the newspaper—Hardy might enjoy the crossword, she reasons— and shoves the remainder of the toast into her mouth so she has a spare hand with which to grab her orange jacket off the post in the hall, and open the front door.

She hustles to her car, setting her purse on the roof before patting herself down search of her car keys. It’s only after she’s turned out all her pockets that she remembers they’re in the purse she’s just set on the roof.

“Bloody hell, Ellie, Focus.”

At last, she opens the car door and settles in. She’s off like a shot to the hospital.

The visitor lot is packed, but she spots a tiny space between two large vehicles and effortlessly slips in. She’s feeling pretty chuffed with herself when she realizes she’s left less than 6 inches of space between her car and the one next to it. Enough space to wiggle herself out, perhaps, but not nearly enough to withdraw Teddy.

She backs out of the space, parks the car in the middle of the lane and grapples with the bear. A queue of cars starts to form.

One car honks. It’s owner puts his chubby face outside the window and shouts:

“You lost?! Psychiatric hospital’s 10 minutes down the road you nutter!”

Ellie rolls her eyes without even looking at the man. She places the teddy bear defiantly in the middle of the lane, and returns to her car, pulling it back into the tight spot. She opens the car door, careful not to dent the neighboring vehicle, and squeezes herself out once more. Then she picks up the teddy bear, holding it to her hip as she would Fred, and raises her middle finger to the man behind her.

“Stupid knob.”

She marches into the hospital, quickly scribbles her name at the check in desk, and heads towards Alec’s room.

She knocks on the door post before walking in.

“Hello, hello, I’ve brought somebody special along with me to see you...”

She enters the room “Ted-first", the bear completely obscuring her line of sight. It’s only when she lowers it that she sees a very excited old man in the bed in front of her.

“You’re not Alec,” Ellie says, deflated.

“I am Alec! Alec Aberson. Is ‘at for me?”

The old man, she realizes, doesn’t have any teeth. And on top of slurring his words, he has a thick cockney accent. He’s virtually incomprehensible. He speaks with an enthusiasm that makes Ellie think he hasn’t talked to anyone in a very, very long time.

“‘ow nice! ‘aven’t ‘ad any visitors since I arrived. Now ‘at me wife’s dead, ‘ere’s no one left to pop in... who’re you, hen? Awfully nice of you to come. And ‘oo is it you’ve brought wiff you?” he asks, winking at Teddy.

She feels bad leaving him like this — it makes her think of her father. She makes a mental note to call him when she gets home.

“So sorry, was looking for a different Alec, must’ve got the rooms mixed up.”

She backs out of the room, dragging Teddy along with her, and bumps into Nurse William.

“Oh, so sorry. Clumsy me.”

“No worries,” William replies, “you’ve got a lot on your hands,” he says, referring to the life-sized bear.

“Oh yes, this ones always getting me into trouble,” Ellie teases.

There’s a flash of recognition in Williams eyes. “Oh! You’re Mr. Hardy’s friend aren’t you? He’s checked out, I’m afraid.”

“What, just now? Where is he?”

“Last night, actually. Left with a—“

“—Tess.”

“I was going to say basic, middle aged woman, but yes, I imagine she was Tess.”

“I dread to think how you’d describe me...” Ellie mumbles, more to herself than him.

“I tried to stop them. But they seemed rather... set on leaving.”

“Right,” she says, processing. William nods and walks off.

Ellie feels her eyes start to moisten. She looks at the bear. “Stupid… stupid… bloody waste of 30 quid…” She starts kicking the bear absentmindedly. She nearly shoves it into the bin across the hallway, but thinks better of it.

She marches back down the hall. To the elderly Alec.

“'Ello again!”

“Thought you might like to hang onto this guy. He deserves to be with someone who will love him back.” She leaves the stuffed bear on the floor before the man can say anything and bolts toward the exit.

_What. a. knob._

**********

Tess is straddling Alec, her breasts bouncing as she grinds back and forth. Her eyes are closed so tight she doesn’t even notice the first time Alec winces.

He groans a second time, more loudly.

“Was that a good groan or a bad groan?” Tess asks.

Alec clutches his chest.

“Oh fuck,” Tess says, sliding off of him.

Alec catches his breath. “I-I’m okay. Just need to go to the bathroom.”

He starts to get up. Tess offers him a hand.

“S'ok, can you just get me my pills from the kitchen?”

“Yeah, of course,” she says darting off.

Alec stands slowly and shuffles towards the bathroom.

He clutches his chest again. Doubles over.He stands up again but struggles to regain his balance. He wobbles. He feels lightheaded. His vision starts to blur. He blinks repeatedly, sees nothing but darkness.

SMACK.

He falls to the ground — his hip smashes into the side of the bathtub and his head crashes onto the cold tile floor.

“ALEC!” Tess runs back into the room and finds him unconscious. There’s no blood, but that only makes her worry more—the deafening sound of his skull thwapping the tile floor is still echoing in her brain. 

She dials 999 on her mobile, “Please, I need an ambulance. NOW!”


End file.
